"...but people will never forget how you made them feel."-Maya Angelou

My eldest son and I were passing text messages back and forth on yesterday, when he asked me if he'd told me that our favorite Chinese restaurant had closed for good? It was a strange, as lately I'd felt as if I'd been in a fugue state, catergorized by these strange gaps in my memory where I feel like I've lived someone else's life. I've been attributing this to moving to another country so late in age and living through a pandemic during the exact same time. These exceptional occurances have done a number on my mind and body. I am learning to compensate for the impact of stress and it's effects and especially for instances where I feel like I "know" that I "know" or at least I "knew" at one moment (if this makes sense?), or if it weren't for photographs, I would be so lost.

Back to our favorite Chinese resaturant, although foggy, this news felt familiar and I informed him that even if I did know this at one time, that the news is as sad as if I'd heard it for the first time.

You see, I liked those people. They liked me. I introduced my partner, now husband, to them. I was so excited when he told me that he would come to the United States to visit me (his first time ever visiting the US), that I told the manager and personnel at the restaurant that I would bring him by and that we'd eat there before he left. They were excited with me, and for me and happy to meet him. They allowed me to leave advertisement regarding productions that I was cast in at their front desk. The manager and waitstaff remembered what my favorite drink was when I walked in...plum wine. They watched me finish college and was proud of me. This is similar to the pizzeria that I also patronized in the area--the owner had a daughter in college at the same time and we would speak about her while my pizza was being prepared. I loved watching her glow while she spoke of her daughter. I knew the feeling. I had four of my own. I spent a reasonable amount of time speaking to the managers at both of these establishments and one more restaurant in the area, having great conversations with them about who they are, why they are and sharing information about myself, families, thoughts, and goals. As we know, humanity is shared. What is striking to me in all of these cases is that , I wasn't anyone special, but to them I was special and to me they were special too.

I didn't just go to these restaurants because they offered good food...this is how it began and it would've been enough because that's all that a restaurant truly needs to offer--good food, a hygienic environment and decent customer service. I continued to return to these establishments because of how I felt when I was in their presence.

I was a person.

This meant so much...

These restaurants touched my humanity in ways I don't know if they'll ever know. In the past, I've left a 5-star review, complete with explanation for two of them, so that others were aware of the impact they had on me. I saw that I wasn't alone when it came to the Chinese restaurant, which makes it even more of a loss to that immediate community, that they are no longer there. They nourished my body and soul(no cliche intended, nor meant...only truth written) and I hope this is reciprocated for them consequently. These types of interactions are important, as these are the types of interactions that I also strive to have with others, as well.

People are only required to do their jobs, effectively and efficiently. They are not required to become your friends. If your dilemma is a crisis of conscience, here is an answer or a way forward--let's strive to be remembered like these people.

Be warm. Be friendly.